Quitters are Great Losers

DAY 3

Today’s fault is brought to you by the unique letter Q. That’s right, I’m a quitter. It started at four years old with gymnastics. I couldn’t quite perfect my somersault, and the balance beam was a mother-fucking bitch! After a failed back flip on the balance beam, and a black eye, I quit. In kindergarten, I tried T-ball. They kept putting me way out in left field, and I was more interested in catching butterflies than keeping an eye out for the occasional stray ball. Let’s face it five year olds can’t hit a ball that hard, I had a better chance of catching a butterfly than a fly ball. After taking a ball to the head during a practice, and another black eye, I quit. At eight years old I got homesick and quit summer camp, at ten I quit the Girl Scouts. There were no black eyes involved in these departures, but I quit all the same. In the sixth grade everyone started playing instruments, it was the cool thing to do. I suppose being in a band doesn't make you a nerd until high school? I remember wanting to play the saxophone so bad; I practiced what I would say all the way home on the bus, I came home and asked mom if I could join the band. I was literally like Ralphie asking for a Red Ryder BB gun in A Christmas Story. She looked me square in the eyes and said, “Valerie there is no freaking way I’m going to spend all that money on an instrument you will only end up quitting!” It was an equivalent of telling me I'd shoot my eye out, but she was right.

Somehow this quitter mentality has followed me to adulthood. I’ve never been fired from a job, I’ve always quit them. At sixteen I got pissed because things weren’t going well for me at my first job, so I quit. I nearly quit college, but that was one thing my father made me finish (and to this day I am so grateful). I got frustrated and quit my marriage, even though I remained in it until he had the courage to be the official quitter. Every time I start a new health regime I get weak and quit. In my last relationship I lost hope and quit, even though I kept trying out of fear, in my mind I quit and was only fooling myself.

I don’t follow through on goals and therefore never see results. The old cliché says, “Quitters never win and winners never quit.” Here I am bitching and moaning that I never win, and yet I always quit. Turns out today’s lesson is also brought to you by the letter D, for DUH! So the problem is I give up on myself way too easily and I’m a quitter. The solution, I need to have some faith in myself. I need to let go of my perfectionism. When things don’t go right the first time, I need to try again, and again, and again. It goes back to previous posts, I need to work on my patience and force myself to keep at it. Patience and perseverance are magical, all difficulties and obstacles disappear in their presence. Tomorrow I will challenge myself with something I feel I cannot succeed at keep trying until I succeed!

UPDATE: Yesterday I challenged myself to eat healthy, exercise, and say positive things to myself, so far so good. I will only update further if I break this trend (aka I fuck up) – eat a cheeseburger, skip the gym, and then yell at myself in the mirror for doing so.