I don't think we're naturally lazy, I just think we don't set goals that light our asses on fire.

DAY 6

Maybe I'm not lazy, maybe I just have weak goals? No, I've definitely been lazy and sit on my ass far too much. Not to say relaxing isn't good for the soul sometime, but if your ass is growing roots to the sofa and you leave the house to get food more than you do to be active it's time to change. In fact I'm sitting on my ass right now typing this. Although I haven't seen many people run marathons or climb mountains while typing. Speaking of feats of physicality, I think the more I get into shape and gain my confidence the less I'll feel like being a shut-in. But I have to quit acting like an invalid in order to get into shape and gain my confidence. When I was a teenager I read the Joseph Heller novel Catch-22. I always heard the expression catch-22 and had a vague understanding of its meaning, but wanted to really make the term clear as mud so I read the book. The premise of phrase comes from the Army clause-22 which states, any pilot wishing not to fly on grounds of insanity must request a mental evaluation, any pilot requesting a mental evaluation is showing concern for their safety and therefore sane and must continue to fly. The cliché has come to basically mean you're damned if you do and you’re damned if you don't!

I think I laze around because I feel I either cannot obtain my goals or because I think I'll fail and/or quit (see earlier day about quitting). I'm a perfectionist so failure isn't an option I want to face. If I refuse to attempt things out of fear of failing or I quit before I fail, aren't I in a roundabout way failing? So do I attempt and fail or not even try and technically not fail but not obtain my goal either? Damned if I do damned if I don't. What about just removing the option of failure? Or what if I stop setting such high goals? I always believed if you're going to do something be the best and don't half-ass it. Maybe that's not always the best advice if it's just going to stop you from trying and make you be lazy caught in a cycle of catch-22s. What if I say I'll try and whatever I get out of trying that's my accomplishment. Instead of saying I have to be a perfectionist and go to the gym and look like a super model, maybe I can just say I'm going to work out five day a week and look pretty fantastic in a few months. Working out after all is a science and not a miracle, if you do it you will look better than if you don't work out.

I'm not saying one should lower their standards. Hell I'm the girl who usually only dates guys who look like tens when half the time I feel like a four. Either I date cute boys with visual impairments, or I don't give myself the credit I deserve. I have also yet to find a gorgeous AND nice guy. I'm not saying he doesn't exist, I'm just saying him and Santa Claus are riding their unicorns over to the Tooth Fairy's house for a visit before he comes to meet me. Again I set unrealistic goals, I think there is a happy median somewhere in this equation. Maybe instead of running any guy I date against some checklist of what I envision the perfect man being, I should work backwards and look at the checklist of qualities he already comes with and see if they are things I can appreciate? While working out is a science and not a miracle, dating and attraction seems to be a miracle and not a science.

Let’s take an inventory of what we've learned: 1) Life is full of catch-22 damned if you do and damned if you don't moments. 2) Not everything is going to light a fire under your ass sometimes you might be lazy and that's ok, as long as it's not too often 3) When you are feeling too lazy reexamine your goals and see what is too unrealistic about them. 4) My perfect man is probably banging that slut the Tooth Fairy having a three-way with her and Santa, because I'm still sitting here on my ass waiting for him to show up!